10 things you should never tell your lover

10. “You’re not like my ex”

Never make your lover feel compared with your ex. Never make the one you have given your heart feel in competition with your former lover. Some in new relationships can’t stop talking about their ex, they go on dates and talk about their ex, in the middle of a conversation they mention their ex, “My ex used to do this”, “My ex used to take me there”. What are you doing with someone who is not better than your ex?

Equally worse is comparing your relationship with that of others, wishing your relationship/ marriage would be similar to that of your friends or the celebrity couple you admire. Instead of comparing, work on your love-life together?

9. “You look fat”

Ok, so your lover has gained weight or slimmed drastically. Your lover’s physique is no longer appealing. Don’t attack the body that carries the heart that loves you. Note that changes are bound to happen to all bodies. To inspire your lover to get a good figure, praise them, mention your concern for his/ her health, feed your lover to size or join your lover at the gym. Let your lover feel you are present in his/her make over, if you attack, you will not inspire a make over, you will only destroy your lover’s self esteem and build a wall between you two.

8. “You are lazy”

We all want a hardworking lover, a successful partner. Before you commit, choose a lover with ambition and passion, a lover with inner drive. But what happens when you notice your spouse has become a lazy bum, when you feel you are the only one doing everything? Don’t shout the words “You good for nothing” thinking that will push your lover to change. Instead, talk with your lover, find out what went wrong, is your lover going through something? Find out your lover’s dream; see if you can inject hope. We all have our low moments. Love is powerful, powerful enough to bring out the best in us.

7. “You always mess up”

Never use the word “always”, unless it’s in a positive statement like “I will always love you”. Never make your lover feel you are focusing only on the mess he/she has done today and the good your lover has done before no longer counts to you. The truth is, that person is your lover because you saw lots of good in them. Be like God; don’t attack the person, attack the sin.

6. “F**k you”

Watch your tongue when you are angry. When a fight breaks out, wrong words can be easily used, insults surge at the tip of the tongue. No matter how bad things get between you two, never insult, never curse your love, never say “I hate you”, never say “F**k you” unless your lover loves it when you talk dirty and you saying “I want to f**k you” is a turn on.

5. “I wish I never knew you”

Relationships can reach the lowest, but never make your lover think you regret being in that relationship. If you are going to say this, say this when you are out of the relationship, not in. But remember even the worst of relationships can end up teaching us something.

4.”That’s not my baby”

Men are famous for doing this, some men, not all. When your woman comes to tell you she is pregnant, don’t let your tongue run loose and deny the child without proof, yet you have been sleeping together. The child may not yet be born but still feels your rejection. Such words can’t be taken back. Don’t expect to deny the child at conception and years later come around saying “I want to see my baby” after the baby has grown to a wonder while you were absent.

3. “I told you so”

Never belittle your lover. Never laugh or gloat at the demise of your lover and rub it in. Don’t keep reminding your lover of his/ her mistakes. You must live up to the true definition of a lover and walk your lover back to a safe zone, back to rising again. Whatever affects your lover should affect you too. Don’t isolate your lover saying “How could you be so stupid? You never learn”

2. “Your sex is boring”

We all want to feel like we are sex symbols to our partner, that our spouse looks at us and sees sexiness. That we touch the right way and give good sex to our one and only. But if your partner is not pushing your buttons right don’t say it out so casually. Once our sexiness is trampled upon, that marks the death of our sex-life. First, be sexy to your partner; before you desire your partner to bring his/ her “A” game make sure you’re bringing yours. Second, lead your partner on how to please you. Say what you like as you give your partner what he/ she likes. Try new things. Have an affair with each other. Most of all, love each other deeply when your are both clothed up. It’s easy to unleash our sexiness to the person we feel our heart is safe with.

1. “Your family is pathetic”

Never attack any member of your lover’s family. Never be the reason there is a rift between you and your in-laws. Show some effort in reaching out to your in-laws. Even if your partner’s family is not as welcoming, let your partner see you stretching a hand, praying for them or offering solutions not listing their flaws. Don’t attack the family you are planning on joining or the one you have already joined in marriage for the rest of your life.

How a Woman Can Help Her Man Love Her Better

1. “Correct him”

Men, love it when the woman tells him when he wrongs. The problem is many women don’t know how to correct. Correct him with love, “Honey, don’t you think it would have been better if…”; don’t scold him like he is a little boy.

2. “Challenge him”

Do greater things than him, inspire him, expose him to greatness, make progress in your life that he feels he needs to pull up his socks. Don’t just sit lazy. A man wants a woman who is hungry for her own personal growth. Challenging him doesn’t mean looking down on him or asking why can’t he be like other men?

3. “Need him”

Men love feeling needed. Lovingly ask him for help, ask him for advice, “My love, what do you think I should do?”. Involve him in your life and when he does help, thank him.

4. “Pray for him”

No matter the level of a man’s spirituality, prayer is respected and considered sacred. Pray for him, let him hear you pray for him.

5. “Praise him”

The kind of compliments men love are, “You are such a good man”, “You make a great dad”, “Your mind is incredible”, “You have a sexy body”, “I love how you touch me”, “My honey, I am proud of you”. Praise him in private and in public.

6. “Sexually make advances”

Many women think sex is to be left to the man, so they wait for the man to make advances. They become passive and shy during sex. Lady, your husband will love it sometimes if you are sexually aggressive, ask for his body, reach to his penis. Show him that you know he belongs to you. Make sex an adventure.

7. “Show interest in him”

Ask him how his day is, his dreams, if he is OK. Most women want the man to show interest but they don’t show interest back.

8. “Trust him”

Don’t be overly possessive, demanding him to spend every second with you. Snooping his phone, being suspicious of him, chocking his social life, . Be mature, if you push him away, he will keep things from you then things will get ugly. Most men keep things from their women, not because they are doing something wrong but because their women read too much into everything and pick up petty fights. This is dangerous. You are his Queen, wear your crown with confidence.

9. “Complain less”

So many women don’t even know they complain, they think they are simply expressing their right to speak and get things done properly. But men dislike a complaining woman, if he doesn’t do things as you like, if he is not at your level; don’t attack and nag. Just simply request him to do things a better way, but as you do so, appreciate the much he has done so far.

10. “Give him peace”

This is what we all want when with a person. Peace. Peace at home. No fights, no frustrations, no stress. If your man is spending less time with you, perhaps you’re not giving him peace. Men avoid complicated and draining environments. Lady, you complaining to him that he doesn’t spend much time with you makes things worse. Attract him to you by giving him peace.

11. “Look good”

Dress up, look sexy. Don’t look good only when you are outside the home, look good also when it’s just you two.

12. “Spoil him”

Cater to him, cook for him, buy him gifts, treat him like a king, straighten his tie. Sadly, today’s career women find doing these simple things as being beneath them.

13. “Have good conversations”

Men get attracted to good conversations. They want laughter, depth, intelligent conversations. They want to be listened to, to be wowed by a woman’s mind. A woman who talks lovey dovey stuff but also about business, governance, social issues, a great vision; that woman is a keeper.

14. “Eat with him”

Men love a good meal. Make it habit to eat with him. Food brings people together.

15. “Be admiral”

Succeed in your personal life, do great things outside your relationship/marriage. Shine as a woman. Make him proud to say ‘That is my woman/wife”.

16. “Be friendly to his friends”

Don’t fight his friends. Find out who his friends are, get to have laughs and talks with them. Support his social life, be good to his family and siblings.

17. “Make effort to understand what he likes”

Find out what he likes and spend time with him doing that thing. If he loves rugby, watch matches with him sometimes; if he wins an award, go cheer him as he receives it.

Why Being In Love is Good For Your Health

1. People who feel loved worry less.

2. People who feel loved smile more and laugh more in a genuine way.

3. People who feel loved are more productive because they feel inspired.

4. People who feel loved are excited about the future because they are safe in another person’s heart.

5. People who feel loved feel intensely sexy because there is someone special who notices them.

6. People who feel loved have more fun.

7. People who feel loved don’t turn to drugs and addiction, there is no reason to escape.

8. People who feel loved better themselves to love better.

9. People who feel loved recover quickly from a painful past because they feel accepted.

10. People who feel loved heal faster because they have more to live for.

11. Children who feel loved turn into great adults because they easily submit to direction and correction.


9 Ways to Overcome Guilt After Cheating Your Partner

Beautiful long haired woman feeling dissappointed and ignoring his boyfriend while he is trying to solve relationship problems

Lyrics from Sloan’s ‘The Other Man’ say: “You know I want to keep my distance, does it happen anyway? He knows you’re gonna drift apart, and there’s nothing he can say I know that he’s a stand-up guy, but that’s none of my concern. We’ve all been in one situation or another, it’s my turn.”
Yes, when infidelity is presented to us in books, movies, and songs it’s meant to be lovelorn and romantic. It’s hot and heavy and we feel no sympathy for the innocent spouse who is being betrayed. In fact, oftentimes we cheer for the underhanded couple to get together!
But the reality of cheating is not so romantic. Broken hearts, ruined trust, and families torn apart are just some of the outcomes of being unfaithful in your marriage.

If you have been unfaithful in your marriage, you well know the guilt and pain you feel from keeping your secret. How do you shake the pain you feel and is it inevitable that your spouse finds out what you’ve done?

Here are 9 ways you can cope after cheating on your spouse.

1. Break Bad Habits
In order to move on after cheating on your partner, you must break all of your bad habits. This means that you will no longer continue having an affair or cheating on your spouse. It also means that any other secrets you were keeping from your partner (spending habits, hiding money, having an apartment you rented for the sake of having an affair in private) must come to an end.
Trust must be restored in order for your relationship to survive infidelity, regardless of whether or not you told your spouse about it.

2. Work on Your Relationship
It’s important for you to know the real reason why you cheated on your partner. Was it the simple temptation or were you feeling bored in your marriage? Do you and your partner spend enough time together? Were you feeling neglected?
Once you know why you cheated, you’ll be able to work on fixing these problems within your relationship.
Spending time with your spouse is very important to the success of your marriage. And we don’t mean just sitting on the couch and watching TV together. It means spending quality time laughing and connecting on an emotional level. Many couples do this through weekly date nights.

Studies done by The National Marriage Project found that couples who have a regular date night are less likely to end up divorced. They also have higher levels of relationship excitement and increased sexual satisfaction.

3. Learn How to Communicate

Growing apart and having a lack of communication skills were both cited as some of the biggest reasons why 886 couples chose to get divorced. This study brings out the importance of couples learning how to communicate with your spouse about.

As you learn to communicate respectfully and honestly with your spouse, you will get to know them on a deeper level. This will help you to open up about potential problems in the future before they spiral out of control and lead to another indiscretion.

4. Take Responsibility for Cheating
In order to move on after cheating has occurred in a marriage, you must be willing to accept responsibility for what you have done.
When your spouse hurts your feelings, neglects you sexually, and doesn’t set aside time to spend with you, these can all contribute to an unhappy marriage. But, it’s important to remember that you were the one who chose to step outside of the marriage instead of seeking counseling or communicating with your spouse. Once you can take responsibility for cheating you can start the healing process.

5. Practice Honest Self-Reflection
Whether you choose to tell your spouse or not, doing an honest self-examination can only be beneficial to your relationship. Start thinking about the areas of your personality that you can improve on. Perhaps you can work on your communication techniques, patience, or trustworthiness.

6. Restore Sexual Activity in your Marriage
In a survey of 200 married couples on the importance of sex in a relationship, the results revealed that physical affection was consistently referred to as a “Strong predictor of love, liking, and satisfaction.”
Sexual activity, especially when orgasm is involved, triggers the release of the “love hormone” oxytocin. This hormone is responsible for feelings of love and attachment and promotes bonding and trust between partners.
Remember that sexual intimacy should be satisfying for both partners. Studies show that women were more likely to engage in pillow talk if they had an orgasm. This pillow talk led to increased relationship satisfaction and feelings of closeness for both partners involved.
Research also indicates that husbands are happier when their wives are sexually satisfied.

7. Work on Your Language
Your language is a strong indication of whether or not your relationship is going to be a success. Studies show that couples are happier when they unconsciously use the term “we” in conversation.
For example, saying “We went to that new restaurant this weekend – we loved it!” is healthier for couples than speaking in the singular. Not only was it shown to reduce negative emotional behaviors, but it improved positive thinking and lowered stress levels.

8. Take a Marriage Course
Your relationship is precious. Don’t let a temporary slip-up let you forget that. One way you can nurture and restore your marriage to what it once was and remove the guilt and shame you feel is by seeking counseling with your spouse.

One way you can do this is by taking an online marriage course. This will teach you the importance of fidelity, honesty, communication skills, and working together as a team. There are also benefits to seeing a therapist in-person, as they can help you create a path to healing after an affair.

9. To Tell or Not to Tell
If you’ve never been in this situation before, it’s easy to say that you would be honest with your spouse about infidelity in the relationship. But this is much easier said than done.
Perhaps you have been married for more than twenty years. You have built a life and raised a family with your partner. To break their heart would be devastating to you. So, should you tell them the truth or not?

There are many factors to consider when deciding whether to tell your partner. Was it only one indiscretion or was it a full-on, years-long affair? Was it private or do other people know about it?
Secrets have a way of coming out, and it is always best if your spouse hears about your infidelity from your mouth first, instead of hearing an exaggerated version of the truth from gossiping friends or family.

It is natural for you to fear that your secret may ruin your family life or break up your marriage, but you cannot truly heal from what happened unless you are able to communicate with your spouse about what went wrong in your marriage.
Cheating on your spouse is no small matter. It can rack you with guilt, contribute to poor mental health, and ruin your relationship. We hope these 9 tips for overcoming guilt after cheating on your partner will help you lead a happier, more honest life with your spouse.

Author Bio
Rachael Pace is a noted writer currently associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of her motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying about today’s evolving forms of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on all types of romantic connections. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.

Ladies, choose to love this kind of man

1. Choose to love a man who loves his mum. He has been brought up well.

2. Choose a man who loves to read, and not just for exams. He is wise and deep.

3. Choose a man who is funny. You will never be bored.

4. Choose a man who treats strangers and the less privileged with dignity. He has a kind heart.

5. Choose a man who listens. You will be understood.

6. Choose a man whose idea of fun is constructive, not endless drinking and clubbing. He is mature.

7. Choose a man who wants to start a family. Your time will not be wasted on pointless dates.

8. Choose a man who respects his father no matter how his dad is. He has learned true manhood.

9. Choose a man who doesn’t insult his ex or your ex even if the break up was messy. He is someone who enters into love for the right reasons

10. Choose a man who needs you. He will hold on to you.

11. Choose a man who lets you love him, who lets you see the nakedness of his weaknesses and strengths. He trusts you.

12. Choose a man who accepts correction and changes his ways if he offends you. He will make himself better to love you.

13. Choose a man who prays for you. He knows you are a gift from God.

14. Choose a man who treats other women with respect. He will show you even more respect.

15. Choose a man who loves other people’s children. He is a father figure and will make a good father to your children.

16. Choose a man with a vision. He will challenge and build you, he knows where he is going.

17. Choose a man who has a good set of friends.You can tell the character of a man by the friends he keeps.

18. Choose a man who values intimacy above sex. He will be faithful to you.

19. Choose a man who is interested in your dreams. He cares about your future.

20. Choose a man who respects your decisions and doesn’t rush you. He sees you as an equal.

21. Choose a man who corrects you when you are wrong and inspires and pushes you to do better. He sees your potential and will not rest until your potential is lived out. That man is a keeper.

22. Choose a man who has been consistent on his focus. You can depend on him.

23. Choose a man who works hard, is self motivated, hustles and is diligent even when he has little. That man is going places and one day he will make you proud.

24. Choose a man who is not intimidated by other men when they notice your beauty. He is a secure man.

16 Important things most couples stop doing once they get married

1. “Saying I love you”

It is sad that it is difficult for couples married for years to tell each other ‘I love you’ yet when they were dating those three words were spoken so easily

2. “Praying together”

When a man and woman start dating, they often tend to involve God. They pray, they grow spiritually together. But for many, this spiritual connection fades away in marriage, no longer are they a prayerful couple

3. “Setting goals”

The biggest goal couples have while dating is the goal of a wedding. They will work as a team, plan every detail of the wedding, involve the people in their lives, have a vision and execute it. But many couples no longer work as a team in marriage. If only they could come up with joint goals in marriage with the same zeal they did while planning their wedding

4. “Pleasing each other”

Many no longer make an attempt to please their marital spouse, this is a huge contrast from how they used to go out of their way to please that same spouse when they were dating. Where did the love go?

5. “Going out on dates”

Dates shouldn’t end when you get married. Weekly, fortnightly, or monthly go out on a date as husband and wife just like you did while dating. If dates had value while dating, they still have value in marriage because they offer a pre-planned set aside time where you block everything and everyone else and focus on each other; even though you live in the same house

6. “Calling each other sweet names”

‘Darling’, ‘Honey’, ‘Sweetheart.. these are some of the names lovers use while dating. But for some, months deep in the marriage and these affectionate names are no more. Instead, they are replaced by less affectionate mannerisms or names such as ‘Baba nani’, ‘Mama nani’… In as much as your spouse loves being referred to as a mother or father, your spouse still wants to feel like a wife/husband, loved like a lover

7. “Impressing the parents”

While dating and hoping for marriage, people make effort to impress the parent/s of their lover. But many, once they get married they distance themselves and care little for their spouse’s parent/s

8. “Spending quality time”

When dating,couples share quality time. In marriage, sadly, many no longer make time for their spouse, they deliberately come home late and ignore their spouse. You two no longer communicate intimately and deeply and you wonder why your marriage is not as amazing as things were when dating

9. “Dressing up”

The excitement during dating makes us dress up to look good. When going to meet our lover, we get our hair done, clothe in our best fashion, smell good and look amazing. But many in their marriage are boring, they no longer see the need to look good for their spouse, they dress poorly to bed; what changed?

10. “Saying sorry and thank you”

While dating,couples tend to be sensitive and appreciative towards each other. But in marriage, many take that lover they married for granted; no apologies, no showing gratitude as if they are thinking ‘Why thank my spouse for doing what a spouse is expected to do?’

11. “Calling each other on phone”

Couples who are dating chat and call each other on phone. But many, as soon as they marry, no texts or phone calls through out the day; no calling just to check up on your husband/wife unless it’s calling the spouse to get something done or complain why something meant to be done wasn’t done

12. “Kissing”

When was the last time you kissed your husband/wife outside of sex?

13. “Public display of affection”

While dating, couples hold hands, he holds her waist, she leans on him, they kiss on cheek in public. What happens that when those same couple marries the affection goes; did the love decrease?

14. “Gift giving”

Love is also shown through the giving of gifts, especially while dating. When was the last time you bought your husband/wife a gift for no special reason other than love?

15. “Having fun”

When dating you used to laugh, you’d joke, smile, dance, have fun; now that you are married, do you still have good times, do you still enjoy each other? Or are you caught up in a rut, paying bills, putting up with each other, in a taste-less marriage?

16. “Good behavior”

The fear of losing someone or the desire to win someone’s heart while dating makes us be on our best behaviour. But many, once the wedding is done, and they have the one they were eyeing, they change and no longer are the good person they portrayed themselves to be while dating

Many act as if the good things they do while dating are just a strategy to get the one they are eyeing to marry; as if once they marry that person the good things they did are no longer necessary. Carry forward into marriage the good things you did for your loved one when you were dating; if those good things led you from dating to getting married, those good things will lead you from getting married to staying happily married.

How to Talk to Your Man About a Sensitive Issue

Many women complain that their men don’t get them or don’t listen to whatever they say. They say the man is being difficult. Sadly, the woman gives up and the issue grows and becomes destructive especially when the woman retreats to her own corner, becomes combative and tries everything to show the man is to blame.

But lady, your man probably doesn’t listen or doesn’t cooperate much or becomes hard to work with because of how you approach him. It is not just about talking, but talking right; not just about communication, but good communication.

Lady, these are suggestions on how to engage him.

1. “Watch your tone”

When a woman is upset or frustrated, her tone easily becomes sharp, attacking, full of shouting and coldness. A man doesn’t like engaging such a tone. Approach him with peace, and the issue will be resolved in peace.

2. “Watch your eyes”

Men repel condescending eyes.

3. “Don’t engage him when he is drunk”

If your man/husband is intoxicated, don’t bother yourself to talk serious issues or even pleading with him to stop drinking. Wait till he is sober to have a meaningful talk.


4. “Don’t confront him in front of your child/children”

In front of the kids, laugh, smile, show unity and when it’s just you and him, then talk about the issue.

5. “Don’t accuse him falsely”

Many women do this. This is the easiest way to make him feel unappreciated and to break the delicate fabric of trust between you two. Before you jump into conclusions, ask him questions politely. Talk with facts. Don’t interrogate, politely ask.

6. “Don’t cause a scene”

A man loses respect for a woman who causes a scene in public or in front of family or friends.

7. “Soothe him”

If you want to introduce a topic that has been bothering you, hold on to it. Prepare him his favorite meal, do things that make him feel good, while he is in a good mood, lovingly introduce the issue for discussion.

8. “Be in control of your emotions”

If the issue is heavy, be prepared for a conversation that will be heavy on your heart.

9. “No insults”

Watch your tongue. Keep calm. Insulting him or parading his weaknesses and past mistakes will complicate things. You need him to know you are on the same team.

10. “Don’t introduce other people’s opinion”

Don’t tell him things like ‘Even my mum thinks you should…’, ‘My friend Kajwang who is a man thinks we should…”, “Zamira says her husband…” Don’t show him you talk about your personal issues with outsiders. Don’t show him you value other people’s opinion more than his. Don’t show him your motivation is based on comparing you two with other couples.

11. “Boost his ego”

Appreciate him more than you criticize him. If you want a man to grow in doing good, praise him for the good he does big and small. When you make him feel like a hero each time he pleases you, he will love pleasing you and will listen more.

12. “Don’t boy him”

Don’t talk down at him. He should never feel disrespected by the woman he has committed to. He hates it when you baby-sit him.

13. “Don’t talk at him”

Talk with him. Give him time to speak, don’t run your mouth. It should be a conversation, not an order.

14. “Talk after making love”

You can choose to talk about the issue immediately after making love. At that time, both of you are feeling most in love. Talk intimately and peacefully about the issue, he is so receptive to all you say at that time.

15. “Take him on a date”

Or you can take him to a place outside home where he will be more conscious of his demeanor in public. An outside setting also breaks the monotony of home. Talk about the issue over a date.

16. “Don’t make him feel uneasy”

Men get unsettled by the words ‘We need to talk’. Ease off the pressure by not putting him on the hot seat.

17. “Don’t push him”

Don’t pressure him to conclude the issue. If he needs time to think through what you have talked with him about, give him time. Sometimes a man needs to arrange his thoughts in his “me” time. You have had ample time to think about the issue, probably more time than him.

18. “Be flexible”

Perhaps after you talk, he might not see things your way or the outcome may not be as you anticipated. Don’t have a fixed mind, you two have to come to a joint agreement. Some times also you will need to exercise patience.

Relationship expert shares advice for women of all ages

By Dr. John Demartini

We had a Q&A session with human behaviourist Dr John Demartini, on some of the challenges associated with dating in today’s society …

Some life situations can be more challenging than others when it comes to dating. What is your advice to a widower, single mother and moms of teen daughters?

The widower

There are just as many advantages as disadvantages to being a widow. That is not necessarily a hindrance. Widowers have already been pre-selected and found to be viable mates. So if a women argues for some form of limitation then that will become their limit, but every situation could be also seen for its advantages.

Advice to widowers:

Widowers can wisely ask themselves; “how specifically is me being a widow a great advantage for me and my potential new man?” By stacking up as many advantages as possible (at least 20 – 50) women can transform the illusion that being a widow is some form of hindrance into it being a great opportunity. It is about seeing how them being a widow is on the way, not in the way. Being empowered by each aspect of their life adds unique contribution to their potential mate.

Single mothers

Although there may be some concerns in the minds of single women, like whether their men will want a child other than their own, or whether they will have to deal with a unpredictable and entangled former husband, or whether the added costs and complexities will shy them away. These are all fair questions and possible concerns, but there are also just as many advantages to the same single mother scenarios. Fears are imbalanced perspectives that dissolve once they are balanced.

Advice for single mothers:

Women as single mothers can also be an attractive turn on for some men. There is a man for every woman out there. Having a child can be exactly what some men desire. They get to see how the mothering style is without wondering and taking a risk. They can become easily attached to a young child and prepare for being a parent in advance. They can be with a woman that is more mature and stable. It is wise for women to take whatever cards they are holding and look deeper and discover the advantages to match any disadvantages for the advantages are always there to create a balance.

Every aspect of women can be spun into their favor if they see the advantages from within and capitalize on them. It is all about how they present themselves. If they see themselves as flawed or disadvantaged then they will exude that image and energy.

It is wise for women to say to themselves: “No matter what I have done or not done I am worthy of love. I have something unique and amazing to offer my man and the world”

When women are empowered they become magnetic and an amazing catch.

It is wise for women to say to themselves: “No matter what I have done or not done I am worthy of love. I have something unique and amazing to offer my man and the world”

The mother with a teenage daughter

Mothers are wise to communicate in an educational, objective, but caring manner, the reality of the dating world – the behaviors men may display and motives they may have. Subjective biases from previous personal wounds are to be moderated.

Projecting wounds onto daughter can backfire and result in the very fear that has not been resolved in the mother. Educating them and progressively trusting them with more accountability over time pays dividends.

Being open and sharing personal challenges and helping daughters crack childish fantasies in advance can assist them in adjusting to the dating and mating world of young men.

Here are 10 tips to those dating situations that aren’t the norm (widowers, single mothers, teen daughters advice etc…)

· Work a little each day at empowering all seven areas of your life – from looks to books.

· Identify what is truly most important, valuable and meaningful to your life – the true you and become clear on what you are dedicated to.

· Prioritize your life and stick to your priorities each day empowering greater self-worth and authenticity.

· Get out in the world and do what is truly meaningful to you so you are most magnetic and inspired.

· Ask yourself how every one of your so-called flaws are actually advantages until you are grateful for being the real you – it helps others do the same.

· Smile and introduce yourself to great men showing a true and sincere interest and listen to them to discover their highest values.

· Practice communicating what you have as a package in terms of their true and confirmed highest values – watch out for projections or assumptions.

· Be patient and selective – raise the standards to allow for a quality match – don’t rush the process.

· Fill your day with such high priority and meaningful actions that you are not desperate, you are empowered and magnetic.

· Make a list of things you are grateful for each day within your own life and your potential mates. Those who are grateful attract more to be grateful for. Learn to say “Thank you” and “I love you”.

Secret codes women use on their men

1. “Three dots at the end of her text”

She means she enjoys talking with you and wants you to continue the conversation.

2. “How was your day?”

When a woman asks the man this, it is because she really wants to know how he is, but also wants the man to ask her how her day was. In the end, she wants the man to show interest in her day.

3. “Ok”

If she types this short word when seconds ago she was typing you long warm messages, it most likely means there is something off, wrong or hurting you have said and she wants you to notice.

4. “I miss hearing your voice”

This is an indirect way of her saying “Call me”. She wonders why you’ve stayed for long without you calling her phone.

5. “Don’t be a stranger”

She doesn’t want to seem desperate but she really misses you.

6. “Dear”

With this you must be careful before concluding what she means. If a woman uses dear on other men then she is just being warm, nothing major about that. But if upon studying her you notice you are the only man she addresses by the word dear, that is a big deal. She is trying to tell you that you are special.

7. “Silent treatment”

This she will do hoping that you the man will notice and soothe her back to her talking ways. She is calling for your attention, your apology, your comfort, your care.

8. “Who was that on the phone?”

If she keeps asking you this after you hang up the phone, it’s not that she suspects you or wants to manipulate you. She is trying to hint that you be open with her, be telling her who you talk to, let her in your life so that she doesn’t have to ask.

9. “Are we Ok?”

These are words from a scared woman who is feeling the man closest to her heart is slipping away.

10. “A sudden full stop”

If she is not the type to end her sentences when she chats with a full stop but then you see a sudden full stop after serious words when you two are chatting about something icy or tense; you’ve probably touched a nerve, she is mad or maybe she’s trying to put you in your place, she’s attempting to shift the talk into something serious.

11. “Was just saying hi”

When she calls or texts and says this, it’s most likely she is reminding you to remember her. She wants more than your greeting, she wants your company too. A woman just “says hi” to a man she enjoys being with; just like a man happens to be in the neighborhood of a woman he values.

12. “We need to talk”

By the time a woman says this, what she wants you two to talk about has been on her mind for a while as she wonders how to say it. But it’s reached a point she can’t hold it in anymore. Whether it’s a good or bad thing, what she wants to talk about is a big deal to her.

13. “What are we, where are we heading to?”

She is seeking your clarity. This woman likes you or maybe even loves you and she appreciates the time you and her spend. All she is asking for is you be the man and cement her place in your heart, allay her fears, be officially be hers. She can’t propose to you so in an indirect way she is trying to make you propose to her

What Makes A Kiss Special?

1. When the person kissing you kisses no one else but you. Your lips are not to be shared.

2. When the kiss is followed by the special words “I love you”. Love is the reason for the kiss.

3. When the person kissing you treats you well. The kisses are sweetest when your heart is taken care of.

4. When the kiss is unexpected and unplanned. You are in the middle of a conversation and get kissed, or he/she creeps from behind and plants a kiss on you.

5. When you’re kissed back. It is possible to kiss your partner but feel like he/she is not engaged. One-sided kisses are heartbreaking.

6. When you get kissed not just when sex is the agenda.

7. When your spouse/partner knows the right place to touch while kissing you and with the right pressure; either your face, neck, back, waist or fingers.

8. When you are kissed for long, no rush.

9. When you are kissed often. You know your partner is addicted to your lips and longs for your kisses.

10. When each time you tongue kiss, it is not messy.

11. When the kiss is playful. Your partner gently bites your lower lip, then your upper. Then he/she relaxes and you do something adventurous. There is a rhythm.

12. When loving words are exchanged in between kisses.

13. When you are kissed for no special occasion.

14. When after the kiss, you look into the eyes of your partner and fall in love all over again