Most men learn to masturbate quickly and quietly, as testosterone-loaded adolescents worried about parents or siblings walking in and disturbing their personal time.
And those secretive, fast-and-furious habits can spill into adulthood, says Emily Morse, a sex expert and host of the popular podcast Sex with Emily.
“A lot of guys rush the process and never think about how they can spice up their solo sex life,” Morse says.
Are you missing out on moves that could make your orgasms even more pleasurable? Try these 7 masturbation tips the next time you’re alone, and get ready to feel good—really good.
1) Don’t ignore the taint (perineum).
“The perineum is the area between the penis and the anus. It’s full of nerve endings and very sensitive, so providing some vibration to it can often feel really good,”
Try pressing a vibrating sex toy to your perineum while stroking your penis with your other hand.
It’s “sure to provide a different kind of orgasm,” she says.
2) Incorporate anal play.
“A lot of men, especially those who identify as straight, regularly miss out on a huge source of pleasure: their butts,” Vrangalova says. “Butts (of all genders) have a huge number of nerve endings and stimulating them can feel really good. If you have a prostate that you can (indirectly) reach this way, that anal stimulation can be literally mind-blowing.”
So how do you bring a little butt play into your next masturbation session? Vrangalova recommends using your hand or a prostate massage toy.
She recommends the LOKI Wave, which “has a nice long handle you can hold with one hand while you stroke with the other, and the wave motion of the internal vibrating part hits the prostate just right.”
3) Switch up your grip and speed of stroking.
Ever heard of the “death grip”? If you find yourself having a hard time reaching orgasm during sex with a partner, it might be because you’re squeezing your penis too hard and stroking too fast during masturbation.
“This amount of grip pressure and stroke speed cannot typically be reached with a partner, hence their orgasmic difficulties,” Vrangalova says. “To prevent this from happening, make sure you switch up the grip and stroking speed, so you’re used to ejaculating in different ways.”
4) Try edging.
The 5-minute speed jerk is fine for most days.
But if you have a little extra time, “edging”—also called the stop-and-start method—can help you achieve more intense orgasms, Morse promises.
Work yourself right up to the edge of ejaculation and then take a short break—just enough time for your erection to soften a bit.
Then start the process over again.
Do this three or four times before you orgasm, and you’ll experience more profound, powerful ejaculations, Morse says.
5) Switch hands.
You’ve probably tried incorporating your non-dominant hand into your solo act.
You may have even attempted the mythical “Stranger”—sitting on your hand until it falls asleep, and then using it to simulate the sensation of someone else doing the dirty work.
But Morse advises using your opposite hand in more creative ways.
Turn your hand so it slides down your penis forefinger-first, and twist it as you stroke. You could also try holding your penis against your stomach with one hand while rapidly sliding a few fingers up and down the underside of your shaft.
Like switching positions during sex, mixing in unfamiliar hand maneuvers can break up the tedium, Morse says.
6) Use a Fleshlight
Toys aren’t just for her pleasure. “I recommend the Fleshlight to any man who really wants to spice up his solo play,” Morse says.
The popular piece is a handheld column that you slip over your penis to simulate the feel of real vaginal or anal se*x. (You can even buy a phone strap accessory to free up both your hands.)
7) Bring your boys into the mix
There are nearly as many sex-specific nerve endings in your testicles as there are in your penis. Don’t neglect them, Morse urges.
While individual preferences and sensitivities play a big role in what you’ll enjoy, a lot of men discover an untapped source of stimulation—and more intense orgasms—by pulling down on their testicles rhythmically before ejaculation.
Some guys learn to ignore their penis entirely as they approach the big O, Morse says.