1. You do not have to have sex each night. Intimacy is more than love making. Sex is not the only way to gauge if things are well in your marriage. Sometimes intimacy is about sleeping body to body, cuddling, having heart felt conversations.
2. You don’t have to argue over every little disagreement. Sometimes you have to move on from the petty differences you have with your spouse and focus on more important things.
3. You don’t have to keep a score of who puts in the most money or who does more in the marriage. You both have different capacity. As long as you both give what you can and as you can and appreciate each other, you will be united.
4. You don’t have to be concerned whether people approve of your spouse, the race of your spouse, the tribe of your spouse, the status of your spouse or the age of your spouse. As long as you in your right mind genuinely love your spouse, you know your spouse is good for you and God is pleased with your choice, don’t mind what people say.
5. You don’t have to have a child/children for your marriage to be complete. Biological children are a gift from God, not a right in every marriage. Don’t let people make you feel your marriage is not blessed because you have no child yet or don’t plan on having children.
6. You don’t have to respond to every attack or insult directed at your marriage. The best way to lower the power and venom of your enemies is to pay them no attention.
7. You don’t have to tell your close friends everything about your marriage and spouse. Some things are best kept special and confidential, just between you and your spouse.
8. You don’t have to copy other marriages and have the material things other couples have. Marriage is not a race competing against other couples. Grow at your own pace, define your marriage as a unique couple.
9. You don’t have to complicate marriage because people told you marriage is hard work. Love is simple, people complicate it with selfishness, unwillingness to learn and pride.
10. You don’t have to drown your marriage into gender politics because you feel some things are not for your gender to do. Both husband and wife want love, a helping hand, respect and care. Stop being difficult. Both of you have equal stake in this marriage.